


I Bought It In A Can (And Stirred It With My Finger)

by Kkaepsongiya



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Child Abuse, Childhood, Childhood Friends, Children, Flash-Centric, Gen, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Superfamily
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-02-03
Packaged: 2018-03-10 09:46:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3285749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kkaepsongiya/pseuds/Kkaepsongiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>And we're slow to acknowledge the knots in our laces</i>
  <br/>
  <i>Heart it races</i>
</p><p> </p><p>When he finally falls asleep, he dreams of Peter and Harry and himself. </p><p>They’re all smiling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Bought It In A Can (And Stirred It With My Finger)

**Author's Note:**

> Guys, there are REALLY IMPORTANT things in the end notes. PLEASE READ THEM. Also, tag explanations in end note  
> Titles and summary inspired by Dr. Dog's "Heart It Races"  
> I HAVE NOT RE-READ THE BEGINNING UP UNTIL FLASH IS APPROX. THIRTEEN AND FIVE DAYS SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WROTE SO PLEASE TELL ME IF IT MAKES ANY SENSE

They meet for the first time when Flash's name is Eugene—they're five. It's the first day of kindergarten and Peter smiles widely as he nears his classroom, his right hand gripping his Dad's and his left hand holding his Pop's, his arms swinging. His mouth is running a mile a minute, words tumbling out with no filter, sounds blending into one another with his excitement. His parents just smile and laugh at his enthusiasm.

When they reach the door, Peter hugs both of them tightly before turning on his heels and running into the room, turning back one more time to wave goodbye. The door closes and Peter looks around the room for somewhere to sit. There's a girl with light blonde hair and sparkly blue eyes who's sitting next to another girl with her head tilted down as she coloured a picture, her red hair blocking her face. Peter turns his head to the right where he sees two boys sitting next to each other: one has slightly tanned skin and his back to Peter. The other boy was looking Peter straight in the face, a smile on his face as he waves Peter over, patting the empty seat next to him. Peter wastes no time—he runs over and sits down.

From the seat he can now see the other boy. He has dark hair and blue eyes (Peter wonders vaguely if everyone has blue eyes but him) and Peter's so busy staring at this kid that he almost misses an "I'm Harry Osborn, what's your name?" He shakes himself back to attention, smiling with teeth and replying with an happy "I'm Peter Parker!" Harry smiles back at him and Peter turns to look at the third member of their threesome. He's looking back at them, silent, as if waiting for one of them to talk to him. Peter does the honour.

"Hi! What's your name?" Peter and Harry both stare at him expectantly and he smiles awkwardly before replying with a soft "I'm...Eugene." Eugene shifts in his chair as he internally deflates: his name is stupid and he just knows that they're going to make fun of him for it. Harry nods to himself before taking in how upset Eugene looks, like his name just sucked all of everything out of him. He doesn't know what to say and when he looks over at Peter, he can tell that the boy is thinking the same thing. They stay quiet.

When noon rolls around, they all pull out their lunch boxes, Peter telling Harry that his lunch looks so "neat", his food in an expensive lunch box just because his family could afford it. Harry laughs and responds by saying that Peter's spiderman lunchbox is cool. Eugene is quiet—still—as he pulls out a lunchbox with the Flash on it, trying not to think about the fact that while he sits at a table with two other boys, he feels like he's alone. Peter taps the table in front of him to get his attention.

"I've got it!" He pauses, waiting for one of them to ask him to continue. Harry says "what?" and Peter takes off into a fast-paced explanation of something Eugene can't keep up with. The brown-eyed boy stops talking and looks at him for confirmation but all Eugene can say is "what?", causing Peter to sigh dramatically and repeat himself slower.

"I saaaid," he started, dragging out the last word and rolling his eyes, "how about we call you Flash? You know, instead of Eugene?" Harry makes a sound and when Eugene looks over, the boy is nodding in agreement. They both look at him and Eugene can feel himself nodding. They smile and cheer and he can feel himself smile back.

His name's Flash now.

* * *

At six, the three of them are inseparable. They all, somehow, ended up in the same first grade class and they sit together, spending every day chatting behind the teacher's back. After school, they go to Peter's house, picked up by either Steve or Tony and they hide out in Peter's room. Sometimes they lay on the floor with a sheet over their heads, whispering about the comic books laid out in front of them. Sometimes they run around the backyard, playing tag or hide n seek, or climbing trees.

One day, Peter falls out of a tree and lands hard on his wrist. He screams and cries and Harry cries too in fear and Flash just stares, frozen, until Steve comes running. The blonde picks Peter up, looking worried at the way that the area is already swelling.

He strokes Peter's hair and rubs Harry's back, trying to calm them both (Flash had never seen someone's face turn as red as Harry's did). They stop wailing, dying down to whimpers and sniffles, and Steve turns to Flash who stood still, eyes focused at the spot on the floor where Peter had landed. His eyes are glazed over and it takes Steve a moment before he's able to bring the boy back to reality. He ushers them into the car and drives to the hospital.

Peter gets an x-ray done and, sure enough, his wrist is broken. They're in a room together, Steve sitting with Peter on the bed while Flash and Harry share the chair close by. Peter seems better now as they wait for the doctor to come back, his pain mostly gone due to medicine, so he's chatting with Harry. Flash stares off into space and Steve glances at him worriedly.

The door opens suddenly and everybody's attention is drawn to Tony as he steps inside, looking fashionable in a gray suit. He greets Steve with a quick kiss on the lips before he turns to Peter, rubbing the boy's head affectionately. Peter smiles at his dad before turning back to Harry. Tony just chuckles and shakes his head before turning to stand next to Steve, rubbing the man's back. While Steve is still worried that Peter's arm will bring about the end of the world, Tony's more relaxed—more collected.

Flash's mind is jumbled. He can still see Peter falling from the tree, the boy landing and laying there and screaming and crying. He can see the pain on the boys face as he wailed. He can see Harry's face as the boy wept. He can see himself just standing there—not able to help. Helpless—useless—as his best friend gets hurt in front of his own eyes. Flash's chest constricts and he gets up and leaves the room. The bathroom is close by and Flash sits in the corner and, finally, he lets go: he cries.

After a minute he feels arms wrap around him and he looks over and meets blue eyes. Flash had been expecting Steve but Harry looks back at him instead, eyes swimming in pain as he watched his friend cry. Flash leaned into his hold.

When they go back to the room, Peter has a red cast on up to his elbow. He smiles at them and hugs Flash quickly before telling them to sign his cast.

They happily do what he says.

* * *

When they're seven, Flash's mom passes away. At the funeral, Peter and Harry stand next to him along with Peter's dads, each of the young boys holding one of Flash's hands tightly in their own. Flash tries not to cry as his mother's coffin is lowered deep into the ground, never to be seen again. Next to him, Harry sniffles and Flash squeezes his hand briefly.

The service ends but their small group remains. It doesn't rain—instead, the sun is shining bright and the birds chirp happily. As if everything was alright. As if Flash's mother wasn't gone forever. Flash is overcome with a series of emotions: sadness, loneliness, anger. His body trembles and, in a fit, he throws a lone flower at the ground near the newly placed dirt and stalks away, a shuddering breath leaving his mouth.

That night, Flash's father gets drunk and hits him. It's the first time ever.

It's not the last.

* * *

Only ten years old and Flash gets into his first fight. A boy from the grade above them pushes Harry to the ground and tries to take his lunch. Harry tries to get it back but the kid is bigger than him so he can only watch, lips trembling, as the kid walks away laughing. Flash feels mad—beyond mad—and next thing he knows, he's on top of the kid, punching and scratching. He can hear the kid crying and screaming but he can't stop himself.

It takes two teachers to pull him off. His dad gets called.

Taking Flash home early, his dad hits him until the boy's ribs are bruised and his foot is fractured.

Flash is out of school for three days and when he comes back he has a cast and crutches. Harry hugs him tightly and thanks him over and over again. Over the boy's shoulder, Flash meets Peter's eyes, the brown-eyed boy looking a bit upset and a bit relieved as if he had thought he'd never see Flash again. When Harry lets go, Peter steps forward, hugging Flash tightly as well, not saying anything.

Both boys sign Flash's cast. Neither ask why he needs one in the first place.

* * *

When Flash turns thirteen, the oldest of the three boys, Peter asks for him to come over. Harry isn't going to come over until later, so it's just Flash and Peter, Peter and Flash. Steve picks them up from school, as always, and they hang out in Peter's room, not wanting to celebrate too much without Harry. They play some video games until Harry shows up, a bag in his hand. He greets both boys with a hug and sits down, announcing that Flash should open their presents.

Peter agrees, pulling a box out from under his bed and putting near Flash where the boy sat on the floor, before stating that he had to go to the bathroom and that Flash should wait for him to get back before opening the presents. When the door closes behind Peter, Harry scoots closer, leaning into Flash.

"Flash," he starts and for some reason Flash feels nervous, Harry's breath fanning his face, "There something else that I wanna give you." About to protest (not wanting to start without Peter), Flash is stunned into silence when Harry presses their lips together. It's soft and Harry pulls back and they just sort of stare at each other. Flash was dazed, his brain still slowly processing the fact that one of his best friends had just kissed him, when Harry kissed him again.

Flash's brain shut off and he pressed back, their inexperienced mouths moving together. Harry's fingers pressed against the back of his neck, the tips slightly brushing the short hairs on Flash's head while Flash awkwardly laid his hands on Harry's waist, his fingers tightening around the slim area. He had no idea what he was doing but Harry seemed to (how, Flash had no idea) so he let the other lead, his young mind racing and his body getting hot. The last thing he had expected for his birthday was a make-out session with his one of his best friends.

Actually, the last thing he expected was Peter walking in on them. The door suddenly swung open, Peter already mid-sentence when he froze, his eyes taking in the picture in front of him. Harry had moved so close that he was practically in Flash's lap, their lips still attached firmly. One of Flash's hands had moved from Harry's waist to the smaller boy's thigh and Harry's fingers were still carded in Flash's short hair. Peter sputtered and the other two boys broke apart.

It was silent for a beat, Peter staring at them and them staring at Peter. Flash watched as Peter's face moved between confusion to sadness to betrayal to anger. Peter's face reddened and he took a deep breath, looking Harry straight in the face. He opened his mouth, then closed it, repeating it again before speaking.

"Harry," Flash almost winced at the tone he heard in Peter's voice, his eyes catching a flash of emotion in Peter's eyes that he couldn't quite place, "I...I don't understand..." His voice broke slightly at the end, his fists clenching until his knuckles were white. Harry moved away from Flash and stepped towards Peter, trying to talk to the brunette, but Peter wouldn't hear it. Next Flash knew, Peter was screaming at them to leave.

From their place in the living room, Tony and Steve watched Peter kick his best friends out of his house, the curly-haired boy flushed and panting. Slamming the door behind them, Peter punched the door and ran his fingers through his hair, his breaths stuttering as he tried not to cry. Ignoring his parents, he runs back to his room and locks the door.

He doesn't go to school the next day.

* * *

Thirteen and a day old, and Flash wishes that he was twelve again. When he was twelve, Peter didn’t hate him. When he was twelve, he, Peter, and Harry were the Three Musketeers and nothing could separate them. When Flash was twelve, he hated himself a little less than he did now.

He had walked home after being kicked out of Peter’s house, Harry immediately inviting him over to “hang out” but Flash declined. His head was hazy from the kiss and from Peter’s voice cracking, and the wetness of the boy’s eyes, and the unsorry look in Harry’s eyes. He had no idea how to feel and he didn’t know what would happen if he was left alone with Harry.

It’s only six o’clock but it’s dark outside. It’s mid-February and it’s freezing cold when all you have on are jeans and a flannel shirt. Flash’s body is numb as he walks into his house 15 minutes later. He remains numb until his father rounds on him, the man pushing Flash around, slamming him into walls and onto the ground. He tries to think of anything but the pain, trying to focus on Peter but all he can see is the hurt in Peter’s eyes. It makes his father’s hits hurt that much more. Flash curls into himself as his father continues but he doesn’t do more to stop the abuse: he deserves it.

Flash is now thirteen and a day old. He wishes that he was twelve again.

He doesn’t go to school.

* * *

Thirteen and five days and Harry’s gone. No warning, no goodbye. He’s just gone. Norman is still in New York, but Harry is nowhere to be found. Flash’s heart jumps when Peter comes to him early Saturday morning, sobbing. Flash holds Peter in his arms as his own heart pounds. He couldn’t tell if it was for Harry or for Peter but he stays quiet, hugging Peter tightly as they mourn the loss of their best friend.

It was the first time that Peter had talked to Flash in days and while Flash wishes that it wasn't only because Harry was gone, he'll take what he can get. He'd rather have Peter sometimes than never have him at all.

Peter shakes in his hold and Flash’s mouth dries and he wants to say something—anything—but he doesn’t. He doesn't want to ruin the moment with a stupid comment. He just wants to keep holding Peter like this. He never wants to let go.

Flash walks Peter home, not feeling confident in the boy's ability to get there safely, especially after crying so much. When they get there, Flash expects Peter to let go and head inside but he only clings harder, pulling Flash inside. They pass the livingroom and Flash catches glances from Steve and Tony, the two men wondering about the scene in front of them. Peter brings Flash to his room and closes the door, pulling Flash onto the bed with him.

They lay like that for a while (or so it seems). Peter's head is buried in Flash's chest, his fingers clenching the other's shirt tightly in his hands. Flash can only hold Peter tightly, his body not responding to any command other than "touch". So he did. He carded his fingers through Peter's curls, stroked the boy's damp cheeks, rubbed his back—anything.

Flash could tell that it was getting dark out and he knew that he needed to get home (hell, he wasn't supposed to even leave in the first place) but Peter needed him. Peter needed him and he'd do anything for Peter.

When Flash eventually makes it home, Peter having fallen asleep, his dad was waiting for him.

Flash was in the hospital for a week and a half.

* * *

Thirteen and sixteen days old and when Flash gets out of the hospital, it’s Peter greeting him with a teary smile and a tight hug. Flash wants to believe that it was because Peter liked him and because he was scared for him, but Flash knew that that wasn’t it—no—Peter just didn’t want to lose him like they lost Harry. Peter couldn’t handle that, Flash knew he couldn’t. He doesn’t say anything about it though, just lets Peter hug him, rubbing the boy’s back and avoiding Tony Stark’s hard face. It’s like Tony knows. _Knows_.

Knows that it wasn’t an accident that put Flash in the hospital. The look in his eyes as he catalogues Flash’s injuries is one of bitter remembrance. He’s lived this life and he’s watching his son’s friend live it too. Tony looks straight into Flash’s eyes, but Flash looks away.

He can’t deal with this.

He wants to cry and scream and tell Tony everything—everything—but he refuses to ruin things more. If he tells, what would happen? Where would he go? Stay with Peter and his family? Flash knows that they’d never want him: it’s one thing letting your child hang out with someone like Flash, but letting someone like him live with you? Flash had nobody. Nobody wanted him, stupid, little Flash who wants to cry over a few cuts, a couple bruised ribs, and a ruptured spleen. Not Flash, the boy who watched his friend fall out of a tree when they were young and just stood there. Not Flash who couldn’t understand his own feelings. Definitely not Flash who deserved everything that was given to him. All of this—his mom’s death, his dad hitting him, Harry leaving, Peter barely speaking to him—was his fault.

It was what he deserved and so he focuses on the floor, making sure not to look back at Tony. They drive Flash home and when he gets out of the car Peter waves bye but Tony gets out too. He walks Flash to the door and stops him short of opening the door, opening his mouth to say something to the boy but Flash stops him. Claims he’s tired. He closes the door in Tony’s face before he can catch the sad look on his face. Flash sighs.

He’s sad too.

When he goes to bed that night, he prays that things could go back to how they were before. He prays for the future to be kind, feeling stupid for wishing but doing it anyway.

When he finally falls asleep, he dreams of Peter and Harry and himself.

They’re all smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> This has been long in the making and it's still not done...as you could tell by reading, this is pretty much Flash growing up with Parksborn as friends and having to deal with a shit ton of drama (well, obviously more than just "drama"). There's a lot of stuff going on in this so if there are ANY questions, please ask me in the comments or on tumblr [here](http://www.isaaclecter.tumblr.com) or wait for the next part (there will be about 3). I have not started the second or third part but I'm aiming for the third part to end with them graduating then a time skip. The angst will grow in the second part and finally be dispelled in the third.
> 
> Child abuse: Flash's dad beats him after his mom dies  
> Angst/Hurt/Hurt No Comfort: ^ + nobody really knows what's going on with Flash (physically or mentally) so nobody can help him  
> Harry/Flash: Harry kisses Flash on his birthday  
> Peter/Flash: Flash has conflicting feelings over Peter


End file.
